Better Beauty (by Cathe Laurie)

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30 ESV).

Fall is here! The air is shifting, the light is softer, and everything is starting to remind us that seasons change whether we feel ready or not.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how that works in life, too.

Every Season Brings Change

If you’re fresh into your twenties, here’s a gentle heads-up: You’re headed toward your late twenties and soon enough, some teenager is going to look smoother and fitter than you without even trying. If you’re in your thirties and forties, I have to warn you that you’ll probably soon be seeing fine lines mark your forehead and speckle the corners of your eyes. Fast-forward several decades, and if you’re in your seventies like me, you’ve surely met your fair share of gray hair, creped skin and saggy arms.

All of these stages are changes, but none of them are a crisis. They’re just the next chapter.

I got my own little reminder of my changing seasons recently, at my annual medical check-up. My doctor looked at the numbers on my chart and listed off her concerns: My bone density needs attention, and my BMI isn’t great for a seventy-year-old woman who’s already had a hip replacement. Nothing dramatic, thank the Lord. But a clear, matter-of-fact check-in with reality: My body is doing what bodies do when they’ve been around a while.

When Caring for Our Bodies Becomes an Obsession

Caring for my body is important. Scripture calls it a temple of the Holy Spirit (see 1 Corinthians 6:19–20). Taking reasonable care of where the Spirit lives is just good sense. Bodily training has value; the trouble starts when “care” quietly turns into obsession. Suddenly, we’re one more serum, one more treatment, one more appointment away from finally feeling okay.

The world is so very good at selling us a problem and then selling us the solution. It whispers that aging is equal to failure and that our bodies and faces need to stay young to keep their value.

The Bible Defines Beauty Past Physical Appearances

But Scripture says something different. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30 ESV). Real beauty isn’t the outward appearance we spend so much time trying to perfect. It’s the hidden person of the heart, that gentle and quiet spirit, that God finds precious.

The apostle Paul offers us a reality check: “Our outer self is wasting away.” That’s not pessimism; that’s just life in a fallen world. Yet, he continues, “our inner self is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16 ESV).

People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. Creped skin? It bears the wisdom we’ve learned. Deep wrinkles? They mark the journey of our faith. Gray hair? It’s a crown of glory.

Finding the Balance in Caring for Ourselves

God Himself says, “Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you” (Isaiah 46:4 ESV). The real threat isn’t a few more lines or thinner skin or a less-than-perfect BMI. The real threat is letting the chase for a perfect body distract us from becoming women of actual substance—women marked by wisdom, kindness, and the fear of the Lord.

We can still care for our temples without making them the main event. We can walk through every decade of life with dignity. We can refuse the exhausting full-time job of trying to look like we haven’t lived. Real beauty doesn’t fade when the lighting is bad or the doctor’s report is honest. It grows as we walk with Jesus, number our days, and invest in the part of us that lasts.

The Beauty We Forget About—But Matters Most

So here’s to looking in the mirror this fall and remembering: Our faces and bodies were never the point. Christ is. And the beauty He’s forming in us is the only kind that truly matters.

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Cathe Laurie is the founder and director of the Virtue women’s ministry. She is also a featured speaker on The Virtue Podcast, at Harvest events, and the author of As I See It. You can find her weekly articles here on harvest.org.