Why Fathers Matter—At Christmas and Every Season

One of my earliest Christmas memories is burned into my heart forever.

I woke up that morning, a little boy buzzing with excitement, ready to tear into whatever presents my mom had managed to put under the tree. Instead I found her passed out on the couch, the victim of another long night of drinking. Our fake tree stood there with that cheap color wheel spinning—red, blue, green, yellow—casting its lonely light across the room. The air was thick with booze and cigarette smoke.

Merry Christmas, right?

I remember thinking as a little kid, “There has to be something better than this.” And thank God, there was.

When I was seventeen, sitting on the grass of my high school campus in Newport Beach, I heard the greatest news a person can ever hear: There is a God in Heaven who loves me—so much that He sent His own Son to be born in a manger, to die on a cross for my sins, and to rise again from the dead. I gave my life to Jesus that day, and everything changed.

My mom was married and divorced seven times. I never really knew what a dad was supposed to be. But every year when I go back and read the Christmas story again, I’m struck by a man who often gets overlooked in the nativity scene—the quiet carpenter standing right behind Mary. His name is Joseph, and he reminds us why fathers matter, not just at Christmas, but every single day of the year.

The Unsung Hero of the Christmas Story

We all know the cast of characters: Mary, the shepherds, the angels, the wise men, and of course the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay. But there’s another person God handpicked for the most important job on earth: raising His own Son.

The Bible says in Luke 2:4–5, “So Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem. . . to be registered with Mary, his betrothed wife, who was with child.”

Joseph wasn’t famous. He wasn’t rich. He didn’t have a big platform or a huge following. He was just a hardworking carpenter—a regular guy who swung a hammer for a living. And yet the God of the universe looked down and said, “That’s the man I want to raise My Boy.”

We sing “Mary, Did You Know?” but nobody wrote a song called “Joseph, Did You Know?” We talk about the “virgin mother and child,” but Joseph was standing right there too.

Take Joseph out of most nativity sets and hardly anyone would notice. But remove Joseph from the story and the whole thing falls apart. God didn’t just choose Mary—He chose Joseph too. He needed a man who would show up, stay faithful, protect his family, and do the hard, quiet, everyday work of being a dad.

A Fatherless Generation

We are living in the middle of a fatherhood crisis. According to Pew Research, about one in four children in America today—23%—grow up in a home without their dad. That’s the highest rate in the world.

I was one of those statistics. My mom kept bringing home “new dads,” but they never stuck around. Only one man ever stepped up and said, “I choose this boy.” His name was Oscar Laurie. He adopted me, gave me his last name, and became the only real father I ever knew. He didn’t bring me into the world, but he chose to stand in my world—and that made all the difference.

That’s what real fathers do: they show up and they stay.

And here’s the best news of all—if you’ve ever felt that ache for a father who wasn’t there, listen to this: You have a Heavenly Father who has never left you, who knows every hair on your head, and who loved you so much He sent Jesus to bring you home. After the resurrection, Jesus looked at Mary Magdalene and said, “I am ascending to My Father and your Father” (John 20:17). Because of the cross and the empty tomb, you and I have 24/7 access to the perfect Father who will never walk out.

Joseph: The Man Who Stayed

Think about what Joseph faced. His fiancée turns up pregnant, and he knows it’s not his child. Most guys would have bailed—and who could blame them? Matthew 1:19 tells us Joseph was a righteous man, and he was thinking about quietly divorcing her so she wouldn’t be publicly shamed.

But then an angel appeared and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. . . and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”

Imagine the gossip down at the job site. Imagine the sideways looks. It didn’t matter. Joseph did the right thing because he feared God more than he feared people.

He took Mary home as his wife. He made the grueling trip to Bethlehem. He protected his little family when Herod went on his murderous rampage. He raised Jesus, taught Him how to work with His hands, and showed Him what a responsible man looks like.

Joseph showed up. Joseph stayed.

A Call to Every Man Reading This

So this Christmas, let’s put Joseph back in the nativity scene where he belongs. Let’s thank God for every faithful dad who’s still in the home doing the hard, unseen work. And let’s say a special thank-you to every stepdad, adoptive dad, spiritual dad, and granddad who walked in when somebody else walked out—like my dad Oscar Laurie did for me.

If you’re a father today, keep showing up. Keep praying. Keep loving your kids even when it’s hard and nobody’s watching. You matter more than you’ll ever know.

And if you’re carrying that father-shaped hole in your heart this Christmas, look up. Your Heavenly Father is nearer than you think, and He’s saying, “You’re Mine. I’m never leaving you. I chose you.”

From our family to yours—Merry Christmas! And may God help us all to be a little more like Joseph this year

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