The Way They Should Go (by Cathe Laurie)

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6 ESV).

Summer is over, which means backpacks are packed, lunchboxes are back on the counter, and another school year has begun.

Every fall, I think parents quietly ask the same questions: Who will influence my children this year? What voices will shape them? What choices will they make when I’m not there?

The truth is, those questions don’t disappear when our children graduate. In many ways, they only get bigger.

The Fear Every Christian Parent Holds

Somewhere along the way, another question often settles into our hearts: What if my son or daughter wanders into that “far country” Jesus mentioned in Luke 15:13, far away from God?

If you’ve ever asked that question, you’re in good company.

There are few heartaches as deep as watching a child you prayed over, read Scripture to, tucked into bed, and pointed toward Jesus begin drifting in another direction. It’s easy to wonder if you missed something. If you should have said more, done more, or prayed more. If you’ve ever carried that fear—or the guilt that often comes with it—you are not alone.

My Personal Experience with Straying Children

Because Greg and I came to Christ during the Jesus Movement, I quietly assumed our boys wouldn’t stray. Our lives had been so dramatically changed by Jesus that I imagined our faith would simply become theirs.

So, we did what Christian parents do. We raised them in a church where they heard the gospel every week. They were surrounded by joyful believers. They went to Sunday School, Vacation Bible School, youth camps, and church activities. Around our dinner table we talked about the Lord, read the Bible, prayed together, and tried to live what we believed.

For many years, it seemed those seeds were taking root. They had tender hearts toward the Lord, and through their teenage years they seemed to be walking with Him. But as adulthood brought more freedom, we slowly realized something: No amount of faithful parenting can substitute for a personal encounter with Jesus.

Acknowledging God’s Power in Salvation and Surrendering Control

Our boys didn’t need better parents. They needed the Holy Spirit to awaken their hearts. They needed a faith that belonged to them, not one borrowed from Greg or me.

As our children grow, our grip naturally loosens. We have less control than we once did, fewer opportunities to protect them, and fewer chances to shape their decisions. And as our hands loosen, we discover it was never our hand holding them most securely anyway; it was God’s.

That realization is painful, but also freeing. While parents have an important role, we were never meant to carry the weight of changing a human heart. We can teach, model, pray, and love faithfully—but only God can awaken a heart to Himself.

Christian Parents Must Sow, But Entrust the Harvest to God

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6 ESV).

Proverbs 22:6 isn’t inviting us to trust in a parenting formula; it’s inviting us to faithfully sow into our children while entrusting the harvest to God. We train them because we love them. We pray because we can’t change them. And we rest because God loves them even more than we do.

So keep praying, keep loving, and keep leading by example. The God who pursued you is pursuing your son or daughter, too!

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Cathe Laurie is the founder and director of the Virtue women’s ministry. She is also a featured speaker on The Virtue Podcast, at Harvest events, and the author of As I See It. You can find her weekly articles here on harvest.org.