Modesty, Judgment-Free (by Cathe Laurie)

“Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way” (Romans 14:13 NKJV).

Hello again, my lovelies! Are you ready for another real talk?

We’ve been diving through the beautiful topic of modesty, and I think there’s one more important point to be shared.

We’re working on our hearts and clearing out our closets of items that don’t glorify God. And as we transform, we want to share this blessing with others! But as we do so, let’s do it with hearts full of love, not judgment.

Everyone is on their own journey. Your best friend, your cousin, that Christian influencer you follow—they’re all coming from different places, with different stories and stages of faith. They all have different perspectives, and God is working with them in different ways. Just because you feel like nailing those modest outfits doesn’t mean you get a VIP pass to “Team Holy.”

Outfits reflect the heart, sure, but it’s not a perfect mirror. Someone can be dressed head-to-toe conservatively and still have a rebellious and mean spirit. On the other hand, another gal might love Jesus fiercely but not yet see modesty the way you do. I’ve been there—years ago, I wore stuff that got me sent home from school. But some things I skipped back then, I’m okay with today.

God’s been patient with you and me, and we have to give Him room to work in others, too. We’re not the Holy Spirit, so let’s not try to play His role. We are not the final word on truth; He is! He will be working with you and changing you constantly throughout your life. What you know now is different from what you will know in years to come. That’s the beauty of growth!

When we talk about modesty, we want our words to drip with kindness and grace. Even lately, I’ve had to check myself after looking at the outfits worn at the Met Gala and other celebrity events. My instinct was to write and rant and call out our current culture’s nonsense. But hammering this ideal won’t win hearts.

Why? Because modesty truly is a gift! It’s not a stuffy rule; it’s a pathway to freedom and joy.

It’s easy to sound like I’m on a high horse, looking down on all the “less spiritual” people under my feet. But that is not at all my heart, and I hope you can “hear” my smile as I speak. I’m not bearing judgment; I feel like I’m inviting my friends to the best party ever!

So once again, I’m praying for you, dear friends, as you share this gift with others. Let’s honor Him with how we present ourselves and keep our hearts focused on His love in all we say and do!

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Cathe Laurie is the founder and director of the Virtue women’s ministry. She is also a featured speaker on The Virtue Podcast, at Harvest events, and the author of As I See It. You can find her weekly articles here on harvest.org.