Every Version of Me (by Cathe Laurie)

“But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand” (Isaiah 64:8 ESV).

Greg often jokes that he’s been married to five or more different women. Of course, he’s usually met with confused looks or nervous laughter, so he’ll quickly clarify: They’re all different “versions” of me—the different Cathes he’s seen through every season of life.

Over the last 50+ years, Greg and I have both changed immensely. The kids we were when we got married would hardly recognize us now. Through everything we’ve experienced, we’ve grown and developed in both faith and character (and yes, some physical changes, too!).

With every new chapter of life, the Lord continues to shape us. And as He does, there are changes I celebrate and changes that are harder to accept.

When I first had kids, I loved being a mom and getting to share my love with my new babies. But on the nights I hardly slept, I missed the evenings when I could read books by myself for hours.

When my kids became adults, I was proud to support them and happy to relieve some pressure off myself. But I also missed being the person their tiny hands clung to for guidance and security.

When our ministry and responsibilities grew, I was grateful for the blessing of serving more people and thankful for God’s faithful provision. But our calendars filled quickly, phones rang more often, and life became louder. And sometimes, I missed a slower pace and the gift of those hidden, quiet moments.

When we became grandparents, I was overjoyed to spoil my new grandbabies. But whenever I struggled to get up from the floor, I missed the days when my body was younger and I could easily crawl around and keep up with my own kids.

Every season holds both gifts and goodbyes, gratitude and grief.

At the end of the day, we’re like clay in a potter’s hands: always changing and evolving. Never the same as we were before. But there’s one thing I’ve realized over the years: Growth isn’t constantly reinventing ourselves. It’s not adding a new identity to our resume every few years. It’s the slow, faithful work of the Holy Spirit gently unveiling the life God has planted within us.

In the Potter’s hands—the hands of our Heavenly Father—we’re constantly being shaped to be more rooted, steadier, and more like Christ. Through every season, each version of ourselves is one step closer to the version we were always meant to be.

Every joy, disappointment, hardship, and delight becomes another tool in His hands. Each part of our story is beautiful because it is held by Him. If we lean into His work instead of resisting it, we begin to see how He is transforming us to be more compassionate, patient, humble, and dependent on Him.

We can remember the past with gratitude, but we can’t live there again. Nor can we spend our lives longing for some future version of ourselves. God will meet us here, in the season He has appointed for today, and He will use it to bring us closer to Him.

Lean into all He’s doing. He’s shaping you into His perfect vessel. Not someone different from who you are, but someone more deeply rooted in Christ!

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Cathe Laurie is the founder and director of the Virtue women’s ministry. She is also a featured speaker on The Virtue Podcast, at Harvest events, and the author of As I See It. You can find her weekly articles here on harvest.org.