Marriage God’s Way

A survey of millennials found that 43 percent would support a “beta marriage” model in which a couple tests the relationship for two years before they decide whether to commit to it or dissolve it.

In addition, 36 percent of millennials backed the “real estate marriage” model where couples commit to a set period of time ranging from five to 30 years. At the end of that period, they have to renegotiate if they want to remain married.

But here’s why neither of those marriage models will work. Studies show that couples who live together have a far higher divorce rate than those who don’t. So if you want to set your marriage up for failure, then live together.

In fact, I wish we could strike the word divorce from our vocabularies. If you’re planning to go into marriage thinking that you will get out of it here or there, then don’t get married. When a couple gets married, they need to commit to each other for a lifetime.

We need to constantly grow in our marriages, and God has given us a user’s manual for how to have a successful and blessed marriage. It’s called the Bible.

When couples come to me and blame each other for the problems in their marriage, I can see what the issue is. They’re not taking any responsibility. Both people have to work at having a good marriage, because it doesn’t happen by accident.

I think sometimes we think that marriage should be like a fairy tale: “and they lived happily ever after.” It doesn’t always work out that way, but I do believe that a couple can live happily even after, if they do it God’s way.

So instead of the beta marriage model or the real estate marriage model, choose God’s model for marriage: a lifelong commitment.