Loneliness

There is an epidemic of loneliness sweeping our nation. Social media hasn’t made us more sociable. It’s made us less sociable and more dysfunctional. It seems like many of us don’t even know how to have a conversation with each other anymore. I read that millennials prefer texting over talking in person. And I think we’ve forgotten how to interact with one another. Research reveals that more than one-third of adults struggle with loneliness. And loneliness and isolation create health risks, including anxiety, depression, and illnesses such as heart disease and dementia.[1] Yet they have found that one or two friendships can dramatically decrease loneliness.

An article on the Vox News site stated that 12 percent of Americans have no close friendships, compared with 3 percent in 1990.[2] The article concluded that we, as a society, have atomized. We’re working, shopping, and socializing online. Our phones have become the primary portal through which we view the outside world. That’s not good.

We’re missing something vital in our lives. We all need living, breathing friends, not anonymous people we play video games with across the planet. Not people who comment on our posts. We need human interaction. We’re not meant to do life alone.

God created us this way. In Genesis, after God made so many amazing things, He said, “This is good.” But when He saw the aloneness of man, God said, “This isn’t good.” So, He created Eve. The same holds true today. It’s not good for any of us to be alone. We need friends.

Not casual acquaintances but people who give us priority in their lives. People who care about what happens to us. People who want the best for us. People who will speak the truth to us in love.

Perhaps the best-known friendship in the Bible is the one between David and Jonathan, as recorded in 1 and 2 Samuel. They were loyal to each other. They looked out for each other. They risked their lives for each other. Not even the murderous rage of Jonathan’s father, Saul, toward David could interfere with their friendship.

Where can such friends be found today? You may be surprised to learn that several potential close friends are already in your circle of acquaintances. And the way to find a Jonathan among them is to be a David. Model the kind of friendship you’re looking for. Take the initiative to deepen your casual conversations. Ask questions. Show concern. Offer encouragement, support, and a listening ear. Share some personal things of your own. Make yourself vulnerable. Be patient through the awkward stages. Learn to enjoy each other’s company. And pray. Ask God to help you be the kind of friend who makes a difference in other people’s lives. And ask Him to bring difference-making friends into your life.

[1] “Loneliness and Social Isolation Linked to Serious Health Conditions,” U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, accessed August 2, 2024, https://www.cdc.gov/aging/publication/features/lonely-elder-adults.html.

[2] Vox Communications, “Vox’s August Highlight Issue Explores the State of Modern American Friendship,” August 22, 2022, Vox.com, https://www.vox.com/2022/8/22/23316431/voxs-august-highlight-issue-explores-the-state-of-modern-american-friendship.

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