Godly Friendship

Sociologists tell us that in the first stage of life, we are shaped mostly by our family. In the second stage of life—and for the rest of our lives—we are shaped largely by our friends. Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future. In ways big and small, we become like the people we spend time with. Our friends influence us for better or worse. They either elevate us and motivate us to be our best possible selves, or they take us down with them.

And we do the same for them. Some people bring joy wherever they go. Others bring joy whenever they go. Which one are you? Are you Bobby Buzzkill or Debbie Downer? Are you the one who lights up a room or turns the lights off? Are you the one who builds others up or the one who tears them down?

Proverbs 18:24 distinguishes between destructive “friends” and real friends. But in our lives, it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between friends “who destroy” and friends who stick “closer than a brother.” And if you don’t have a lot of friends, it’s hard to tell whether a friend who destroys is worse than no friend at all.

The Bible offers several tips for finding godly friends and avoiding ungodly ones. Proverbs 22:24 says, “Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people” (NLT). Psalm 1:1–2 says, “Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night” (NLT).

The best places to find these potential friends are where God’s people meet. Worshipping or serving together at church or in a ministry is ideal common ground on which to build a friendship.

If you already have godly friendships, treat them like the treasures they are. Give God thanks for them. Express your gratitude to your friends. Refuse to take them for granted. Respect their time, their opinions, their boundaries, their privacy, and their personal preferences.

Be the godly friend your friends need. Pray for them daily in a meaningful way. Stay informed about their needs and struggles so that you can take each one before God individually. Encourage them with words of comfort, motivation, and wisdom from Scripture. Put genuine effort into your friendship. Give it a place of priority in your life. Do the heavy lifting when necessary. Refuse to allow minor squabbles to grow into something bigger. Be quick to understand and forgive. Keep the lines of communication open.

Be the person who sticks closer than a brother no matter what happens.

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