Today Marks 5 years Since Our Oldest Son, Christopher, Went to Heaven

I would like to say it get’s easier, but it would be more accurate to say it’s just different.
I still miss him every day.
His smile, his laugh.
I rejoice knowing I will see him again, but that can seem so distant and far away.
Then again it may be sooner then I think.
Until that day, I press on to knowing God and making Him known to others.
I appreciate your prayers.
Here is something my wife, Cathe, wrote and posted today about Christopher.

Cathe writes-

On occasion, I am asked, “How many children do you have?” I take a breath, pause for a moment and smile, “Two, I have two wonderful
boys.”

I’ll never forget the first time I had to answer that question and it hurt…it hurt all over. It was just weeks after Christopher left us for heaven, I was sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Sandra’s softly lit office, the clipboard questionnaire resting on my lap. The question caught me off guard, number of children: then, the blank space for me to write in. How do I answer that?

And the tears filled my eyes and spilt onto the paper blurring the ink all over the paper. Two. I handed the fill in paperwork, my name, insurance information, medical history, but I wanted to tell the young
receptionist my story, as I handed her the clip board. I wanted her to understand about the boys behind the number.

I have been asked this question more times since then. Why
even last Wednesday at church, I was asked, was I a mono-mom or a poly-mom? (Was I the only one who conjured up images of insects and
sea life?) We held up fingers to answer the question; of course I held up two.

And again today, as I made small talk with a repairman while he fixed my broken garage door. That question again. How many kids do you
have? The answer, “Two…two boys”, never gets easy, the dull ache remains.

I have, not had, two children, both beautiful boys, born eleven years apart when I was 19 and 30. One is here with me on earth, with a beautiful wife and growing family, and one in heaven, safely home in my Father’s house.

Today, will mark the five year anniversary. I am grateful for those thirty-three years with Christopher…every minute… even the hard times (and there were those.) I loved his laugh, his wit, his gift of art, his tender side that cried easily. I loved seeing him grow into a man, a husband and a father. Thank God its not over. Its not good bye, just farewell.

But truthfully, I am getting restless. It seems long enough already and I’m anxious for reunion, for more time together, catching up on all that has happened since he was gone, the trips we missed taking,
the special moments…ahh… I could go on and on.

But it’s getting late so I’ll stop here, put the pen down, and pray.
How long O Lord…?
Until then, hold him tightly for me…