A Classic, Not a Clunker

I love old cars that have been restored. When I see a perfectly restored ’67 Chevy cruising along, to me that is beauty on wheels.

Think of your marriage as a car. You have to maintain your car. You have to put gas into it. You have to put oil into it. You have to take it in for a tune-up and change the tires from time to time.

Periodically it’s a good idea to take stock of your life and marriage and say, “Is there anything I’m doing that is hurting my relationship with my spouse? I pay attention when Cathe tells me, “I don’t like it when you do that. This concerns me.”

It may seem trivial to me. I may dismiss it and say, “That’s ridiculous.”

But if it means something to her, then it should mean something to me. The same is true for her.

You and your spouse need to listen to each other in these areas and take stock. Is there another relationship, career, or a ministry that is becoming more important to you than your first ministry, which is to your spouse and your children? If so, you need to reevaluate and realign as the Bible tells us we should.

Becoming one flesh is an event. It’s also a process. When you’re married, you’re technically one flesh. But it will take a lifetime to work that out. Cathe and I realized recently that together, we have one working brain. It takes time—a lot of time—to get to know a person and to adapt in a relationship.

The idea is not to take your spouse and trade her or him in on a new model. Rather, work at turning your marriage into a classic that will stay on the road forever.